Soothing Yourself Without Food

For many of us, food is a source of comfort when we are bored, lonely or sad, and this is one reason why we struggle so much with our weight. We spoke with psychologist Susan Albers, author of the books Eating Mindfully and 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food, about emotional eating and how we can deal with it.

Why do we turn to food when we are emotional?

There are many emotional, biological and psychological reasons we turn to food for comfort. Here is a brief list:

1. It's just chemistry. Food is soothing due to the chemical changes it creates in your body. Certain foods are linked with increasing the neurotransmitters and chemicals that make you feel good.  Chocolate is a great example.

2. Stress! Life is so stressful that we are often vulnerable to eating out of worry, anxiety or frustration. It's called the "affect regulation model," which is binge eating to decrease negative mood and increase positive mood. Good and bad feelings can trigger binges. But most people are more familiar with binges kicked off by stress.

3. Tune Out. Eating is also distracting. It can take your attention away from whatever is internally bothering you.

4. Beliefs. You may also be conditioned to believe eating can take away pain. Many media ads push the therapeutic value of food. So we think or believe eating will make us feel good.

5. Right here, right now. Also food is readily available. It is comforting to know that it is easy to get.

6. Entertainment. It is difficult for many of us to deal with boredom and anxiety. Preparing food and eating it can be entertaining and fills time.

7. Good vibes. The foods we crave are often link back to our childhood. We want things that automatically trigger positive emotions from our childhood or comforting memories.

Do we even realize it is emotion and not hunger that drives us to eat?

At first, we are often blind to the fact that we are eating out of emotions. It’s like a knee jerk reaction feel stressed = eat. This is where mindful eating can be of help - learning to know your emotional triggers. Respond to your feelings rather than react. There are a four tell-tale signs of comfort eating.

1) Eating when you are not physically hungry

2) Eating is triggered by an emotion - stress, boredom, anger, happiness (yes, good feelings trigger eating too).

3) There is a mindless, mechanical component to it. Imagine sitting in front of the TV munching on popcorn without even really tasting it.

4) Eating doesn’t really satisfy you.  Although it might give you momentary pleasure, eating often numbs out feelings. 

How can we start conditioning ourselves not to use food to soothe?

Thankfully, you can break the habit of emotional eating. It takes practice and finding an alternative way to calm and soothe yourself that works for you. Rewire your brain to identify other behaviors as comforting. 

Step One: Be Aware. Much of our emotional eating is so automatic, that it happens automatically or below our awareness. Before you jump into changing this behavior, keep a journal. Take note of where and when you stress eat. The office? Late at night? When alone? Are there any patterns that you notice? Before, during, and after you eat, take your "hunger temperature." Gauge how hungry you are on a scale from 1-10

Step Two: Replace. If you take out stress eating, you have to put something in its place. Make a concrete list of all the healthy things you do naturally and that work to give you a quick pick me up a tough day (go for a walk, take a hot bath, rent a chick flick).

Step Three: Practice! There are many suggestions of alternative ways to calm yourself in non-calorie ways. Use meditation techniques, self-massage, distraction ideas, guided imagery and pamper your senses. Try out these techniques when you aren't craving food so you get them down pat before you really need them!

What are the types of technique that you recommend?

I recommend two primary ways to conquer emotional eating.

1) Learn mindful eating. Mindful eating is a not a diet. There are no menus or recipes. It is simply about being more aware of what you eat. Eating is such a routine behavior that you can eat an entire plate of food and not taste one bite. You can also fall into repetitive mindless eating habits (eating a snack at the same time each day, stress eating at work etc). When you are eating mindfully, you enjoy your food, savor it and also feel more in control. It's the polar opposite of binging. When you slow down, you think more clearly. You are less reactive. Being mindful helps you to be more aware of how you unconsciously and consciously react to food and find new ways to deal with the situation without leaning on eating.

2) Learn new coping skills.  In my book, 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food, I reveal five clinically proven ways to deal with emotional eating. This includes techniques for 1) mindfulness meditation 2) pampering your body 3) changing your thoughts 4) helpful distraction 5) finding social support.

Could you explain some of the ways we can soothe without food…

Your refrigerator is a lousy source of comfort. Using food to soothe ourselves is like taking an aspirin for a broken arm. A more effective way to deal with stress is to target specific areas of tension. Find alternative ways to soothe yourself without food. Here are three examples:

1. Pamper Your Body: We carry a lot of stress and tension in our bodies. Some of stress eating is trying to restore the balance of our stress hormones. Try self-massage. People often do this unconsciously when they rub their temples or their eyes. For example, clasp your fingers together and gently massage under your hair. Or, keep a tennis ball at your desk. Place the ball under your foot, while sitting, and gently role your foot around the top. If you don’t have anyone to rub your shoulders, place the ball behind your back against the wall. Gently roll the ball around.

2.  Drink Black Tea. Black tea has been clinically shown to reduce your cortisol levels, the stress hormones in your body. These are the hormones that make you crave comfort foods. So if you are feeling on edge, take a sip of black tea (which comes in a lot of great flavors).

2. Calm Your Mind: Go on shut down mode. Much of stress eating is a way to cope with being over stimulated by all the demands of your day and to unwind. Turn off your cell phone. Shut off the lights. Allow yourself 5 minutes of guilt-free uninterrupted quiet. For the nervous eater, breathing exercises are helpful. Instead of focusing on the content of these words instructing you to get food now, you draw your attention to a very different dialogue. The dialogue in your head is the instructions on how to breathe well. One example goes like this. "I am drawing my attention to my chest as I watch it go up and down with each entering breath. I'll count to three as I draw this breath in."  

This post is a repeat, but look forward to more original content to come in the future.