Fred Connors Talks About Common Appearance Mistakes Made by Overweight People
Nov 18, 2011
According to X-Weighted's self-esteem expert, Fred Connors, there are several mistakes that larger people tend to make with their appearance that serve to make them look larger, and like they have zero confidence....
Covering every inch of their body. "Skin is attractive," says Connors, "even on the largest person there is a piece of skin somewhere on their body that looks nice, and it is important to show it. If you are a full figured woman with an ample bust line and great calves, show some décolletage and those calves."
Wearing all one colour. "Larger people will typically wear all of one colour on their bodies from head to toe in the hope that nobody sees them. In reality, what they are really doing is creating a giant dot for people to focus on. So that is a mistake," says Connors.
Wearing clothes that are too big. Everyone looks better wearing clothing that actually fits them properly. "Typically people will buy clothing that is 3 sizes bigger because they have clothing to grow in to and think that the more fabric there is on their body, the more they disappear, and that is a huge mistake," says Connors.
Not taking care of themselves. "People who are ashamed of their body tend to show anxiety by picking at their nails, and they tend to not care about their hair or if they have a spot or a blemish. The way that they look tends to stop mattering," says Connors. This is unfortunate, because no whatever your size, you still matter!
"You can be a large woman who isn’t happy with her body, but have a great haircut and get compliments. You can be someone who has 40 pounds to lose that wears a beautiful pair of shoes and get compliments. I think that this idea that we ‘re not worthy because we’re fat has really affected the way people present themselves to the world."
This post is a repeat, but look forward to more original content to come in the future.
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My hero, the seamstress
It is great to have someone who can adapt the clothes when you need it. It makes such a difference.
Been There, Done THat
My major vice is that I use to be skinny, I use to model and was a size 1 and weighed 112lbs at 5'1 i made a petite model. Since than I went to university, took a few years off and than started college. In the process I made myself weighed 206 lbs. I to this day still have all of my jean sizes over the past 4 years. I plan on cleaning them out of my closet and letting go of the past soon.
And I love this article, because as I was reading it, I noticed I was wearing all black! I think its time for a wardrobe update.
Limited wardrobe
I too have lost weight and wearing clothes that fit you make a huge difference in how you feel and look. I try to get things on the cheap. I have found my workout clothes at Costco & WalMart for not too much money, and they have lasted, some are even now too big! That's good but bad on the pocket book. The only thing is don't put them in the dryer as it makes them loose the elasticity, hand to dry and you will get more bang for your buck. Second hand is good too, you can get some great deals. The best place to spend you money is on your footwear, they may be expensive but the right support is essential for being able to perform activities properly, your feet will, knees and legs will love you for it. I feel like I have been wearing the same outfits and I have.
thank god!
Honestly it is nice to hear someone give some good advice to us larger ladies on what not to wear. I would have loved it if there had been some mention of the lager girls who still try to squeeze into clothes that are too small for them. If we all wore clothes that fit properly we would all be more confident as well as looking great.
This is all excellent advice
This is all excellent advice and I want to give you all a thumbs up for joining the challenge and seeing changes already.
I do shop at thrift stores...love Frenchies on the Southwestern part of NS...worth the trip...absolutely!
My BIGGEST thing is finding really good undergarments that do not cost an arm and a leg, provide great support and help to make your clothes look nicer. *these are items I refuse to buy second hand!!!
Right now, am a stay home, single mother desperately trying to get back into the work force, but finding it hard to put it all together. am doing better at working out, but, as bridget jones would say, "there are some wobbly bits"...not exactly appealing even to myself in the livingroom, alone! LOL
BTW...FRED, I MISS YOU ON THE SHOW!!! PLEASE COME BACK!
Reward yourself!!
I have been limiting myself to one or two new items a month, tops usually to motivate myself to keep going and you feel better so you should look better in clothes that fit. I purchased calvin klein jeans in November in a smaller size as a gift from my husband for xmas, these jeans are getting to large for me now and that feels great. I have still been doing my bargain hunting at Frenchy's and Louie's but limiting myself to shoes, belts, scarfs, and lingerie. I have also been borrowing some clothes from my sister and I had some saved from when I lost weight 5 years ago. It also feels good to put away clothes that no longer fit to make room for the gently used that will hang there temporarily!!!
Find a Tailor!
I have been in the same scenario as a lot of you, finding something on a hanger that looked amazing and then trying it on and being so disappointed as arms too long, material sits weird on chest, etc etc. The fact is, you can't expect every designer to design clothes to conform exactly to your body. Everyone is shaped differently, and although there are people out there who look good in EVERYTHING, I don't think they are the majority. So make friends with a tailor!
Seriously, you would be shocked how much better some items look on your body with a few quick (and cheap) fixes. It's not just something rich people do. Anyone can find a reasonably priced tailor, and even if you are buying good quality items second hand you will still save money then spending a bunch on something that only sort of fits you at a department store.
Clothes shopping, hmm that's fun is says in mocked dejection
I went with my in shape friend to Valu Village yesterday where we spent several hours picking out clothes for her. I did buy a shirt, too small for me which I will fit into eventually but other than that, I went around picking out clothes for her, not at her request but because I hate shopping.
I have a standard pair/pairs of black pants or black stretch pants over which I put a small variety of tops. I've been dressing like this for years.
I had lost 50 lbs before and put it all back on over the last 1.5 years so shopping for more than a decade has not been something I enjoy.
I watched my friend and others in the store, pull item after item of beautiful clothing from the racks and all I could do was watch.
I was genuinely pleased for my friend. She works hard to stay in shape, always has been in shape so she deserves the pleasure of shopping and finding clothes that fit and look sensational on her.
I hope one day to join her on other shopping sprees where we fight over a garment because it fits us both. One day I'll be able to shop in regular stores again. It's been so long!
Work out wear please!
I wish athletic wear suppliers remembered that there are some people that are not size 6 that work out too. I'm a size 20 right now and I'm having a heck of a time trying to find some work out wear that is affordable and that looks good. I just joined a gym and I want to feel good when I work out!
The only stuff I've been able to find is either outrageously priced and of poor quality or is so unflattering, I would hate being seen in it!
I keep telling myself that this should just motivate me to loose weight so I won't have to deal with the lack of selection, but it isn't helping my motivation to work out.
they have some nice yoga
they have some nice yoga pants at Walmart for around $12 dollars in the plus-size section. Not a lot of selection when it comes to tops but you might get lucky.
I totally agree with this blog
When I go shopping I typically opt for a shirt that is 2 - 3 sizes larger than I need. I think that baggier clothes are better because they do not show all the bulges as much.
I also find it hard to shop because all the nice clothing are for thinner people and there is not much selection for someone larger than a size 20. I cannot wait to get to my ideal weight and go shopping.
Addition-elle and Penningtons
Addition-elle and Penningtons have nice clothes and alot go up to size 24-28.
addition-elle and
addition-elle and Pennington's do have nice clothes some of the time but if your younger and want to be a little more in style, it's not always there. Their clothes wears very quickly and is extremly costly compared to "our friends" clothing stores. they know they have the market in canada... no competition. they are owned by the same company...
Second hand in the interim
While losing weight, I find second hand stores (Louis-Truro and Frenchy's on the East Coast) are a great way to expand your wardrobe while going down in size. I have Jones of New York, GAP, Old Navy, Eddie Bauer, Liz Claborne, all for under $5 an item, usually $2 or 3 for most. I find I shop retail for pants for proper fit, but tops, shirts, sweaters, etc. you cannot beat second hand. Happy Sunday everyone!!
FASHION FOR PETITES
I FOUND A WONDERFUL WEBSITE AT JC PENNIES. YOU CAN PICK A GROUP OF CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES AND THEY HAVE ALREADY PUT THE CLOTHES TOGETHER. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO BUY THE CLOTHES JUST GET SOME GOOD IDEAS. AS A PETITE PERSON I KNOW THAT I NEED TO HEM, HEM, HEM AND I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT OR STEP ON THE BOTTOM OF MY PANTS. GET TO KNOW YOUR BODY AND WHAT LOOKS GOOD EVEN IF YOU HAVE SOME WEIGHT TO LOSE. PRETEND THAT YOU ARE ALREADY LIVING THE LIFE THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE. EVERY MORNING WHEN YOU GET UP AND GET DRESSED, BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE THE HARD WORK OF LOSING THE WEIGHT, ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!!!
NAMASTE
EVA
Box Shaped T-Shirts...
I'd also like to add that box shaped t-shirts are one of the worst items of clothing an overweight person can wear. No shape, no definition, no style. I know because I used to have a drawer full. Now I use them for paint shirts.
Value Village
I find it hard to commit to investing a lot of money in clothing until I reach my "forever" size - it just doesn't make sense, but it is also not an excuse to wear baggy or unflattering clothing simply because you know you won't be in that size for long.....when I previously went from a size 26 down to a 14/16 I made numerous trips to Value Village and bought used jeans and cargo pants etc. As you move down from one size to the next, you can reward youself with some new clothes, but this way you don't have to feel guilty about spending a lot of money on them! You can pick up great jeans for like $7.99 from old navy, levis - I even got a pair of Silver jeans for my sister for $14.99 which is a total steal. And if you go back often they always have new shipments in....it's pretty fun really. But then when you shrink out of that size you can recycle them back to where you got them! and you don't mind doing so when you only spent a bit of money. My idea is to wait until I am at the size I plan to stay at - and then go out and invest in a real wardrobe. But in the meantime, I want to look as good as I can - even if it is on a budget!
Ah, yes thrift stores like
Ah, yes thrift stores like Value Village have given my wardrobe quite a boost while I've been losing weight. Just this week I found a very nice pair of brown lightweight boots to compliment my thrift store brown cords that match the thrift store brown patterned sweater that I match up to wear. It looks very put together and I paid less than $5 for the whole outfit. I even have brown argyle socks I got for Christmas that look really good with the pants. There are lots of days I don't have on a single item of brand new clothing (except for underwear and socks).
I've worn a size 14 jeans for
I've worn a size 14 jeans for several years now, but after the first couple weeks of the challenge, they were feeling baggy. I've always been the type of person who has worn baggier clothing to hide my lumps, but wearing those jeans was beginning to make me feel even fatter than I actually was. So, I went out, tried on (with some trepidation) a size 12 jeans, and was pleasantly surprised when they actually fit, and fit nicely! I still have lumps and extra pounds to lose, but I feel slimmer and better about myself, just by wearing clothing that fits well.
Clothing
I find it hard to find the right shirts for me, I have a huge belly that is bigger than my chest. I find cloths that fit my belly but are way to loose up top, not fun at all!
Would love to win this prize and learn some stuff!
can't wait to meet Fred!
LOL...positive thinking cuz i soooo want that prize!!!
anywho, I think we all want to project the best possible image of ourselves when out in the public eye when we feel confident, but when we start to lose that confidence it gets harder to "fake it"...or you get too busy to worry about dressing to flatter...or money can sometimes play into the equation...
either way, yes, just because i'm larger doesn't mean i don't care what i look like...
I Think
It tends to be difficult for us overweight folk, especially of average or petite heights, to get "nice" clothes that fit well. Just because you buy a large size doesn't mean that the fashion "cut" or style will flatter you. I find that to be the most difficult part of trying to dress the body I have right now. I have 50 pounds to lose. I have gone to stores and tried on clothes for long periods of time only to end up feeling worse about myself than when I went in!
Petite clothes
Have you tried Cleo Petites? My mom usually gets nice pants there and she's 5'4''.... Sale racks are your friend!
Totally agree on the dress your size comment...
I have tried Cleo petites but
I have tried Cleo petites but I find some of the lines and waist to be cut too high...more for my mom than me!
Something I tend to do...
I put off buying new clothes/nice clothes/clothes that fit because I'm not quite the size I would like to be. I think to myself that I can wait it out until I lose a few more pounds, but in the meantime I look sloppy.
Dress the body you have right now! (something they always repeat on a certain TLC show)
I admit that most times I
I admit that most times I think I am a fashion disaster. I am only 5'3 and find it impossible to find clothes that fit properly! Okay let me clarify...have you ever been to the petite section in big box stores?? Since when do women in there 30's dress in floral prints, sweaters with "cute" pictures etc. One of my best friends and I go shopping and it usually ends in utter disappointment. Regular sized clothes are either too long or too big in the arms / shoulder area...so often I leave without any purchases. I thought that once I lost weight that my options would improve...but NO I am a size 8 - 10 and still have trouble finding trendy type clothes. So I resort to jeans, tees and yoga pants. Any one out there know of a good petite clothing line for someone who desires to be fashionable?
Try Dorlene
They have a big selection of Petite clothing and although they can be expensive they have great sales. I often get pants or blouses that are regularly $50-$60 on sale for less than $25. I find the Dorlene sizes smaller than Reitmans so make sure you try on anything you want to buy.
Try Reitmans for petite
Try Reitmans for petite clothing. They are a little more expensive than big box stores, but there clothes are nice and I seem to find they fit better than most.
I have had some luck with
I have had some luck with Reitmans. I honestly don't mind paying a little extra for clothes if they wash and wear well. The petite section is always so limited and I just want to find a great trendy fashionable line of clothes for 30 somethings....not too young and not too old. I am just not ready to dress like my mom! ( who always looks great :) Maybe I'll get to be dressed by Fred and then I will know what looks good etc....wishful thinking!
You can still look great in jeans and a tee
I think that it is more about making sure that the jeans are a decent cut, like a curvy bootcut jean and not mom jeans. I think that so long as you buy clothes that fit properly and don't swamp you, it makes a real difference.
I buy quite a lot of basics at Joe Fresh at Superstore, and find they look good and are very reasonably priced.
ok then
I can't help but think that the fashion industry helps with these points...